Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Long silence

Seharian roadshow hujung minggu PU**LI*C M**T*AL di Johor Specialist Hospital benar-benar mengusik perasaan. Bukan rejection tapi kenangan silam.. kenangan berbelas tahun lamanya seawal usia remaja bila arwah mak di jemput ilahi.. di situlah tempatnya..Air mata yang tertumpah ditahan, malu dilihat orang. Mak & abah menghembuskan nafas terakhir di wad ICU tingkat 2. Sedih & rindu sukar ditahan..betapa besarnya pengorbanan mak dan abah membesarkan anak-anak. Tak berkesempatan membalas jasa, Cuma doa buat mak dan abah tersayang.. Dan magrib semalam sekali lagi airmata tertumpah di sejadah sambil ditenangkan Aiman.

“Kenapa mama menangis?”
“Mama sedih ingat nenek. Dari kecik mama tak der mama lagi”
Aiman memeluk & melentukkan kepala dibahu…”mama, kalau ayah dah tak der, nanti abang jaga mama sampai bila-bila”

Allah… sayunya… makin derasnya airmata tanpa sebarang kata-kata yang terluah….masya Allah anak-anaklah penyejuk hati.

Buat kak azi dan qim,

After long silence, here are quick updates

1) I had miscarriage. Aiman & Ayah was upset. Aiman keep asking me, “kenapa mama tak tahan baby daripada keluar?” memang sedih pun tapi tak der rezeki. Next time I’ll be extra careful bila berjalan di atas lantai yang licin.. ehh can I sue T*Y*T* service centre? The floor was slippery at that time tapi it was my mistake too, saper suwuh pakai kasut tinggi masa mengandung..

2) Aiman can ride bicycle without support tayar sebelah kanan & kiri.. it was last month but it has not been recorded.. Now the bicycle a bit too small for him kena beli yang baru tapi tak sempat gak nak gi kedai basikal.. . I bought that bicycle when he was 2 now sekarang Aiman dah besar.

3) Anas can say few words clearly such as mama, ayah, babang (abang actually), tak nak, bird, cicak, cat, sensored word when he ask me to nurse him tet*k. Although he spends most of the time with bibik, he is so attached dengan mama.

4) Meanwhile my unit trust business with P**L** Mutual expanding alhamdulillah.. syukur ke hadratnya.. I am recruiting more agents under me & in progress of taking the FMUTM examination. Personal sales bulan nie dah break my own PS record. May Allah bless all my effort…& sabar mengharungi cabaran2 & rejections.

5) Tuition terpaksa stop dulu kerana kekurangan masa buat anak-anak tersayang.

I need to FOCUS…